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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:56 pm 
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SnafflesBlue wrote:
Snaff:
16 years old. Anna was a bit alternative. She liked the Levellers, Doc Martens and Joss-sticks.
These were things alien and exotic to my naive senses. She was also more Catholic than the Pope, which was also an eye-opener.
The night arrived, and a romantic dinner of fish and chips and vimto was followed up by some heavy petting on her mad uncomfortable sofa.
Her parents had moved into a gaff about 3 times smaller than their old place, so it was floor to ceiling with boxes of old shit, like the lair of some kind of Holy Catweasel.

Anyway, finally, we made it to the bedroom. Surrounded on all sides by sad-eyed Jesuses (Jesii?), I plunged my unbelievably excited wang into her. After a while, it felt quite odd, like I was trying to force a mars bar into a fleshy eggcup. Then "PYANG"! Her maidenhead was rendered kaput and I finally got what all the fuss was about.

Sated, I sat back and held her in my arms, pausing only to ask her (and I shall always remember this) whether she had had the "Big O".
Her puzzled look told me all I needed to know. The answer was clearly yes.

I farted, and went to sleep.

As a side note, I used to use her da's computer, and in later years (we were together for nearly 4) I found a heartbreakingly tame porn stash on it while playing Minesweeper, which consisted of wholesome looking women showing a bit of nipple. He'd stashed it in a folder called "PIRVATE"(sic).

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 3:16 pm 
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Alice: Who the fuck would fuck Alice.

Well I would, did, did a few times more and still would 18 years later. She wasn't much of a looker but had a tremendous set of bangers so every cloud and all that.

Anyway, after necking a bottle of white lightening and puking all over my new Superstars we ended up on the beach (I moved to Devon after leaving school and was an exotic outsider for a while - for a long time a lot of the really, really retarded ones thought my Scouse accent was American - The gene pool down there doesn't have a lifeguard and there are some horrific ghoul like humans). I knew there would be action when after letting me almost pull her tits off with some heavy handed groping she went for my jeans, just undoing the top button triggered a hard on so vicious I nearly passed out. At this point my right leg started shaking like it was having some sort of fit, she grabbed the wee man and gave it a couple of strokes before I realised the game was almost up. I gently pushed her down(not in a Ched way, your honour), she lay back on the beautiful golden sand, slipped off her knickers and hitched up her tie die skirt revealing the biggest bush I have ever seen to this very day. Immediately the gravity of the situation dawned on me and a bolt of sex lightening blasted through my little fella. I knew this wasn't going to end well, but like any self respecting man of the people I knew I needed to resist the urge to blow my load and carry on, it wouldn't be fair on her to end it all now. So I climbed aboard, buried the toes of my superstars in the sand to establish a stable platform to work from(just like a golfer in a bunker) and whilst I'd like to say I slipped in there with no fuss I got closer to getting it in her arsehole before she took the reigns and guided me in. Two strokes. Game over.

She laughed, I laughed, we did it again 20 minutes later and in 18 years my technique has improved marginally/not at all.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 3:47 pm 
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Farmer_Geddon wrote:
Alice: Who the fuck would fuck Alice.

Well I would, did, did a few times more and still would 18 years later. She wasn't much of a looker but had a tremendous set of bangers so every cloud and all that.

Anyway, after necking a bottle of white lightening and puking all over my new Superstars we ended up on the beach (I moved to Devon after leaving school and was an exotic outsider for a while - for a long time a lot of the really, really retarded ones thought my Scouse accent was American - The gene pool down there doesn't have a lifeguard and there are some horrific ghoul like humans). I knew there would be action when after letting me almost pull her tits off with some heavy handed groping she went for my jeans, just undoing the top button triggered a hard on so vicious I nearly passed out. At this point my right leg started shaking like it was having some sort of fit, she grabbed the wee man and gave it a couple of strokes before I realised the game was almost up. I gently pushed her down(not in a Ched way, your honour), she lay back on the beautiful golden sand, slipped off her knickers and hitched up her tie die skirt revealing the biggest bush I have ever seen to this very day. Immediately the gravity of the situation dawned on me and a bolt of sex lightening blasted through my little fella. I knew this wasn't going to end well, but like any self respecting man of the people I knew I needed to resist the urge to blow my load and carry on, it wouldn't be fair on her to end it all now. So I climbed aboard, buried the toes of my superstars in the sand to establish a stable platform to work from (just like a golfer in a bunker) and whilst I'd like to say I slipped in there with no fuss I got closer to getting it in her arsehole before she took the reigns and guided me in. Two strokes. Game over.

She laughed, I laughed, we did it again 20 minutes later and in 18 years my technique has improved marginally/not at all.


arf!welcome aboard!

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 3:53 pm 
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A double thruster eh? Magnifico. You were a bit old though to be losing your virginity. I've seen vids of you knocking a little fat fella out so no offence but were you a hom before that?


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 4:10 pm 
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Farmer_Geddon wrote:
Alice: Who the fuck would fuck Alice.

Well I would, did, did a few times more and still would 18 years later. She wasn't much of a looker but had a tremendous set of bangers so every cloud and all that.

Anyway, after necking a bottle of white lightening and puking all over my new Superstars we ended up on the beach (I moved to Devon after leaving school and was an exotic outsider for a while - for a long time a lot of the really, really retarded ones thought my Scouse accent was American - The gene pool down there doesn't have a lifeguard and there are some horrific ghoul like humans). I knew there would be action when after letting me almost pull her tits off with some heavy handed groping she went for my jeans, just undoing the top button triggered a hard on so vicious I nearly passed out. At this point my right leg started shaking like it was having some sort of fit, she grabbed the wee man and gave it a couple of strokes before I realised the game was almost up. I gently pushed her down(not in a Ched way, your honour), she lay back on the beautiful golden sand, slipped off her knickers and hitched up her tie die skirt revealing the biggest bush I have ever seen to this very day. Immediately the gravity of the situation dawned on me and a bolt of sex lightening blasted through my little fella. I knew this wasn't going to end well, but like any self respecting man of the people I knew I needed to resist the urge to blow my load and carry on, it wouldn't be fair on her to end it all now. So I climbed aboard, buried the toes of my superstars in the sand to establish a stable platform to work from(just like a golfer in a bunker) and whilst I'd like to say I slipped in there with no fuss I got closer to getting it in her arsehole before she took the reigns and guided me in. Two strokes. Game over.

She laughed, I laughed, we did it again 20 minutes later and in 18 years my technique has improved marginally/not at all.


ARF

A vivid account that goes straight into the top 5 of virginity tale-tellers, easily.

I presume by the 'still would 18 years later' comment you have found her on facebook? Link pls.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 5:12 pm 
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I was saving myself for that extra special massive bushed, amply jugged slice of Devons finest. Plus I was 16 and having sexual intercourse before that age is against the law. Saying that so is having sex with members of your immediate family but that doesn't seem to stop the locals down there.

And am I fuck posting links. You could at least buy me a drink first.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 5:33 pm 
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Farmer_Geddon wrote:
I was saving myself for that extra special massive bushed, amply jugged slice of Devons finest. Plus I was 16 and having sexual intercourse before that age is against the law. Saying that so is having sex with members of your immediate family but that doesn't seem to stop the locals down there.

And am I fuck posting links. You could at least buy me a drink first.


I have. Link me up Bitch.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 5:45 pm 
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just PM a pic to chips, the lad can photoshop her head for something else, maybe a Qualcast 2400 rotary mower or a bottle of 15+ Bazooka Honey.

High stakes real life photoreportage is one of the bastions of the gaterkind. Don't sully your debut by getting sent off.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 5:53 pm 
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Ang on....


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 6:00 pm 
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It's 1983. Monkee has been seeing a "good girl" and been lying like a good un to her 15 year old self that he's 15 too. Monkee Is actually 12 but a fast developer, first pyabs in my year *fist pumps. I still have that on my CV under other achievements.

Said Good Girl (Claire) introduces me to her mate, Cheryl. Cheryl, it is clear is definitely not good with a body made for sin. Me and Claire split, Cheryl delivers the message. I ask Cheryl if there's any chance we could get together, she says "Come and see me tomorrow." Result.

Down to the house, there's no one in, fairly soon I am atop her on the sofa, nuzzling some magnificent tits and getting my fingers wet. She asks that we stop, ablaze with sexual tension I reluctantly agree and wonder how the fuck I am going to walk home crippled by my throbbing four incher. She surprises me by saying she wants to walk with me. As we near home we somehow are diverted into a building site nearby, although my begging may have had something to do with it. On said building site is a concrete main drain ring, roughly three feet high and five and a half feet across.

We hop in and after some fumbling she aquiesces to the idea of her jeans coming down. Oh how my heart beat faster as her fleshy thighs were exposed. The patchouli oil was making me high as I positioned my angry youth meat and sunk in. I got it. Right then I understood what we were all fantasising about. My arse was like a jackhammer, but no nodder meant I was pulling out every four strokes or so to calm matters down as, obviously, I was so sexually potent I would immediately serve her with twins. After about 5 times of doing this I thought "fuck it" and let it go. Wild horses couldn't have dragged my arse backwards at that point.

We finished, cleaned up and I walked her back to the top of my road. I kissed her and told her I'd call her the next day. I didn't. In fact I never set eyes on her again.

Cheryl.

Lovely.


Last edited by Monkee on Thu Feb 12, 2015 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 6:03 pm 
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Image

There you go. In order to protect the girls dignity I've replaced her head with the head of my all time favourite - Aunt Sally.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 7:09 pm 
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Ohh arr, she's got a big set of spaniels ears there Geddon but the knuckles of a heavyweight hod. Dont piss her orf or you'll be sparko'd.

Im glad you did the head job too as chips would have just put a giant fod on her and wanked himself unconscious.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 7:52 pm 
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Monkee wrote:
It's 1983. Monkee has been seeing a "good girl" and been lying like a good un to her 15 year old self that he's 15 too. Monkee Is actually 12 but a fast developer, first pyabs in my year *fist pumps. I still have that on my CV under other achievements.

Said Good Girl (Claire) introduces me to her mate, Cheryl. Cheryl, it is clear is definitely not good with a body made for sin. Me and Claire split, Cheryl delivers the message. I ask Cheryl if there's any chance we could get together, she says "Come and see me tomorrow." Result.

Down to the house, there's no one in, fairly soon I am atop her on the sofa, nuzzling some magnificent tits and getting my fingers wet. She asks that we stop, ablaze with sexual tension I reluctantly agree and wonder how the fuck I am going to walk home crippled by my throbbing four incher. She surprises me by saying she wants to walk with me. As we near home we somehow are diverted into a building site nearby, although my begging may have had something to do with it. On said building site is a concrete main drain ring, roughly three feet high and five and a half feet across.

We hop in and after some fumbling she aquiesces to the idea of her jeans coming down. Oh how my heart beat faster as her fleshy thighs were exposed. The patchouli oil was making me high as I positioned my angry youth meat and sunk in. I got it. Right then I understood what we were all fantasising about. My arse was like a jackhammer, but no nodder meant I was pulling out every four strokes or so to calm matters down as, obviously, I was so sexually potent I would immediately serve her with twins. After about 5 times of doing this I thought "fuck it" and let it go. Wild horses couldn't have dragged my arse backwards at that point.

We finished, cleaned up and I walked her back to the top of my road. I kissed her and told her I'd call her the next day. I didn't. In fact I never set eyes on her again.

Cheryl.

Lovely.


What a lovely story. I particularly enjoyed how like me you took steps to protect the identities of those involved. Changing Keiths name to Cheryl was very thoughtful of you.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 9:18 pm 
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Farmer is going to do well here, the scouts are performing well…

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 10:38 pm 
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Good yarn Monkee, a top ten tale, no dickety, no doubt

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