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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 8:56 pm 
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Crying little bitch

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He's quoting Midnight Express, maybe he's been bummed in a Turkish nick too.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:36 pm 
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It's deffo snaff or ken as they're both film buffs...and remember all sorts of shit


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:39 pm 
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Crying little bitch

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Whoever he is, he makes me look like Philip Schofield.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:41 pm 
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GuinnessRed wrote:
It's deffo snaff or ken as they're both film buffs...and remember all sorts of shit



It must be Gordon The fucking gopher

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:50 pm 
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Old Len Smith wrote:
You all seem broadminded sorts so I will share my experiences. Might seem a bit old hat but I'll plough on. I arrived in Hanover in the spring of 1946. I was an 18 year old private (a little awkward and unsure of myself but lean, strong and willing), part of the occupying force keeping the Hun in line. Its a proud old town for those of you not familiar with it, on the banks of the old River Leine. Bomber Harris and the boys had given the old place a bit of a roughing up and the people were still a bit wary of us chaps but we went about our business. I met a weary looking old fraulein there one night when out with Stumpy and I think it was Bow Bells Bill but my memory could be playing tricks on me. We were in some cafe kicking up a bit of a fuss and I remember Stumpy was pleased as punch when this old girl came over showing off her GAMS as the Yanks used to call them. I Kept myself to myself but as the night wore on Stumpy was too drunk to be either use nor ornament and she busted his chops and moved on to me. We went for a walk down by the Leine past the old Wunstorf and down to the river. That old girl taught this young man a thing or two. She was probably only in her late 40s but the toils of war had done her no credit. She had fled from the east away from the Ivans and her husband bought it late in the war. Some of the things she wanted me to do to her I never knew bloody existed, I'll never forget her pulling up her tired, worn old frock pointing to her gable end and saying ' Dis is nein verbotten'. I give her a right old going over with my Lee Enfield. I saw her a few times then she dissapeared. I'll never forget her name. So Heike Schaitberger if you are reading this somewhere up in heaven, this old Tommy says thank you for those nights in the ruins old girl.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:20 pm 
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Posts: 6
I'm not even gonna attempt to match some of the tales in here so i'll keep mine short and sweet,

Goosed her in her 4 year old brother's bedroom for some reason, he walks in whilst she's straddling me and he gets a good look at camp bastion. Got picked up by me dad and he told me i smelt funny. He's gay now apparently, her brother, not my dad, although having said that, he has been wearing all saints trousers recently. FOD YOU GAY CUNT


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:23 pm 
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Whoa?

Wtf?

Age? Dates come on niblocks you Need more than that.

I smell a yew tree on you la


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:27 pm 
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14 we were, and it was as bad as you can imagine. Never even yopped.

CRYIN ERE


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:44 pm 
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Crying little bitch

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if snaff ever graces us with one of his presences again he is not going to be happy with that nibsy

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:00 pm 
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Defo a Yewtree.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 12:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2013 3:28 pm
Posts: 4
I was 20 and yet amazingly, that's not the funniest part of the tale.

I'd been tapping up Carla for the best part of a month, we were 'great mates' yet I had a devious plan to explore the fundamentals of her gusset and they were only just unfolding. Tonight was the night. I knew this as the night before, our massages had not only been growing in frequency but had reached the point that she was unclasping her bra, and I was able to touch a bit of side boob whilst delivering my relaxing, sensual muscular manipulation.

We went to the cinema, I can't remember what we saw, I'm about to get laid.

We got back to her parents house, and I laid on the neatly produced temporary floor bed next to Carla's sturdy queen size. 'This is not going to plan' I think, yet only moments later, Carla has slipped off her mattress and under my blankets on her hard wooden floor. 'I want you to nail me, Sparkington' she whispered romantically into my ear. She peeled off her smalls to reveal my new best friends, Doris and Perky - the nickname her ex boyfriend gave to her fabulous, pendulous norks for which I lacked the imagination or desire to rename them. She pulled down my bigs and pointed my Parliamentarian soldier at her Cavalier. The 1600's would have nothing on this civil war. She was wetter than an otters pocket and I slid into her like a 4 year old on the dance floor at a wedding.

At 20 years old and with my conquest having no idea I was a virginus intactus, I was keen to perform as only Ron Jeremy could. I buried my todger deep into her and envisioned this gorgeous half Latvian beauty as a cross between Margaret Thatcher and 80's childrens TV legend Grotbags in a vain attempt to halt Vesuvius and demonstrate my Olympic shagging qualities. Literally a minute passed and I was performing like Mo Farrah, what a hero - and then - the unthinkable - my fascist green haired witch started crying. 'You don't fancy me, why can't I make you cum?' she whimpered, mascara running down her crumpled face. Well - I'm not going to lie to you, that kind of took me off guard some what. My keenness to impress not in the least considering that she would have been more satisfied by my shooting off quicker than Oscar Pistorius hearing a toilet flush.

Needless to say, my first time finished pretty much in the same way as the rest of my love life to that point in time, crying and wanking furiously into a tissue.

But this story did have a happy ending - I proceeded to bang this bitch senseless regularly for a full 6 months afterwards. Right up until the night she called my boss a cunt at a work's party and tried to stab me with a 12 inch chefs knife. But that, my friends, is a truly different story.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The end.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 5:18 pm 
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Arf.

MORE MORE MORE!

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:23 pm
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Location: SAILING WITH ENYA
ACE.

Welcome to the resistance.


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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 6:37 pm 
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Hahaha quality sparky lod, you're going to fit in just fine

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 Post subject: Re: Your Virginity Losing Tales
 Post Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 3:37 pm 
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Now that's a fucking virgin post.

The rest of you two line queers take note.


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